For over a week & a half I've wanted nothing more, but to talk to you...It worries me when I don't. . .Like if we go a day w/out talking to one another & I don't know anything before hand...I'll start to wonder if it was something I did or something else. . .I don't like that feeling. . .It makes my heart panic when I get that feeling...Not cool. . .In fact at times that can get a tad bit irritating for me...I don't like being clueless...I hate it, because in a quick instant I can become your worst enemy...That'd be thee last thing I wanted to be...I stare at the clock typing this.  Watching the clock & wondering what you're doing...Rather it'd be sleeping or something else.  At times it kills my heart when I don't see you online when I am.  GO GRR!  *GRR*  I really could need you holding me right about now..I want to fall apart, but about what I have no idea at the moment as to why.  I would assume it's because I miss you so much.  I feel like we haven't talked in forever.  I miss it something terrible.  I guess w/ problems it comes & goes?. . .I try & sleep at night, but w/ tossing & turning all the time because of nightmares.  I wake up hoping to see you next to me & when I don't I can't go back to sleep at times. . .It rings in my mind what you've said these past couple of days about clouding my judgement about life....Oh God, if you only knew how much you meant to me...

(-<) <3 :)

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